Thursday, July 24, 2014

Motivation & Autism



This little chart up above is from a website that defines and expounds upon the three elements of motivation.

I have had a supreme lack of an inner drive to just...do (fill-in-the-blank) for most of my life. Until recently, I've lacked the understanding on not just how to make goals, but why we need to make them in the first place. 

See, I used to think that talent was something we all have but didn't understand that we need to hone and nurture it. I am an artist and a writer, and I like to sing. I honestly thought that as is, my writing and my art were good. Good enough to support me financially. As is. But somehow, while looking over my portfolio this last time (which is something I do not often do), I noticed more of the weaknesses in my work than ever before...and I'm not really sure I did ever notice the weaknesses before, to be honest. 

Basically, I (seriously) overestimated my capabilities like these people, and therefore never made the effort to improve upon what I can already do because I thought it was good enough. And yes, as there is no doubt that some of you are thinking it, this is pride. 

And it is the darkness of autism--to be unaware of some (or many) of the nuances of life. I have been blind to the need to put effort in all that I do. But my eyes are opening, and my prayer for you this day is that God will open your eyes as well if you are living in this same darkness.

Autistic people do lack motivation and some of this is biochemical (which in my case has been helped with a very small dose of Adderall--just 5mgs a day as needed which isn't always). But I am writing about a healing of a lack of awareness here. Seeing the truth motivates me, and as I work towards goals and accomplish them, my brain continues to change and heal.

As always, God bless!

Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law.              ~Proverbs 29:18

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