Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Prodigal Goes Home

The winds of change are blowing again. Hard. In my last post, I wrote about moving into a home that I was to share with two other single ladies in Jacksonville, Florida. But God had other plans. 

Just a few days after that post, I ran an errand to my church, but on the way home without even thinking, I suddenly hopped onto 295 North and ended home. My Charleston, South Carolina home, that is. The city I left four years ago thinking I would never live here again. but this is where I've been for the past three weeks and counting.

It didn't take long to see that I pretty much came back as a prodigal. When I left, I thought the whole world had rejected me because of an autism label. The truth is, autism had nothing to do with it. I was angry and bitter, and the people in my life had had enough of it all. And rightfully so. 

As a result of seeing myself a little more accurately, I have been on a mission over the last few weeks. I am searching out those who were the most wounded by my behavior and words and am asking for their forgiveness. I used to just apologize to people and not really have any idea what the offense was, but all of the pain I caused is so clear to me now. So this is not just saying, "I'm sorry." This is, "You were wronged. This is how. And you will never have to be on the receiving end of that from me ever again. Period." 

These past several weeks, I've been worshiping at the same church I thought I had left behind for good. What is amazing to me is that God transformed my heart so much that somehow it has changed me outwardly. Many--and I do mean many--people I interacted with quite a bit only four years ago do not even recognize me. We talk easily as if we've always been friends, and so I've chosen not to remind them of who I was. 

Because..I am not who I was. Sometimes it's better to leave the past in the past and simply start anew. It's true that the old can fall away and we really can become new creatures in Christ--just as He promised. Thank you, Lord Jesus.

St. Andrew's, I am grateful for you. And I love you.

So, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.  ~Matthew 5:23-24

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