Saturday, March 21, 2015

An Open Letter to Barbara S. Boatwright

First, my apologies to those who come here for information and prayers for the healing of autism. Once in awhile, I write of personal matters although those tend to be people and relationship oriented, so in a sense, even those posts document the healing-of-autism journey! Thank you for your patience. 

Now to the heart of the matter. 

Dear Barbara, 

Because our lives continue to take us in completely different directions, I have not had the opportunity to catch up with you in person. Looking ahead, it appears as if this will still be the case in the weeks and months to come, so I am using a different approach to speak to you albeit this is an unconventional one. 

When our paths first crossed, I had been newly diagnosed with autism, and bitterness over that label had already begun to set in. Yet God saw to it to briefly put me into a church where I would finally encounter Him, and there He would begin the arduous work of beginning to unravel the ties that bound me as well as shatter the chains that left me without life and hope. 

There you introduced me to the concepts of inner healing, generational healing, John Paul Jackson and all of his work, Judith MacNutt, healing prayer, and the list goes on and on. Despite the darkness that pretty much consumed me, I was able to still see the truth in everything you presented to me, and those truths ended up turning my life upside down. 

But emotionally, I was a wasteland. And it took me having to leave not just our church but an entire community to learn just how broken my heart really was. It was shattered, and except for the fact that our Lord can do anything, it really was beyond repair--in least in terms of human standards. 

Out of my brokenness, I acted irresponsibly and even recklessly. It was not until two years ago when I read the writings of Leanne Payne did I truly understand this as well as the depths of my dependency upon people to bring me healing, and of my constant desire to "bend" to others as well as my refusal to make myself "vertical" before the Son (anyone familiar with L.P. will understand this reference. For brevity's sake, I will not explain it, but should you research her concept, you--anyone reading this today--will find it to be life changing).

I spent my remaining time alone working and praying my way through her books, letting God heal me Himself, and in the end, emerged more whole and Christ-centered than I ever could have imagined. I am so profoundly grateful. 

After my dependence on others for healing left me, I went on to take the first three levels of healing prayer at CHM, and there I experienced more deliverance and inner healing, and I began to see from God's perspective, my new identity in Him. I do have a new identity in Him, and I am committed to living it out because it is not for my sake that He called me to be His. It is for the sake of others who need Him just as much as I do. 

Once my healing began to take root, I could plainly see the things you mentioned to me in an attempt to teach me God's ways were all true. Your ideas were life giving. All of your decisions--even the harder ones--led to my freedom, which is still increasing day by day. I want you to understand that I never found fault with you. I sensed that something good would come out of the pain, and it did. 

I also knew that my lack of anger was a unique reaction and that is why it caught my attention. Historically, I was never one to respond to what looked like rejection with any type of grace, so I prayed about it and asked God to show me His will in all that transpired. He did beyond any measure I could have ever conceived of on my own. 

I hope you will choose to believe that God has healed me considerably because this is evidence of His presence among us, and because we see Him we can be strengthened, gain hope, and pray with a more fervent faith for others who are suffering. Our Lord is still a healer. And you, being in the healing profession may be encouraged to know that even the most far gone people can be brought back from the brink. How much easier then should it be for you to pray for those who are not so far gone? Do pray for and with them. Walk in the call that has been placed upon your own life.

So, thank you that for the brief time you were in my life, you managed to open the door to a whole new world for me. I have no idea where this journey will take me, but you will always be with me. You will be remembered with gratitude, and when I pray for you, you will always receive a blessing. Our Father truly delights in you. 



We are all family in Christ Jesus, therefore consider: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." ~ 1Cor 13:4-7

Love well, my friends. Love well.